The Power of Holding Both: How Nuance Helps with Healing
In the gentle work of healing, we often long for clarity: to know what’s right, what’s real, what to let go of, and what to hold on to. But in reality, healing rarely happens in absolutes. It unfolds in the in-between—the place where both things can be true at once.
Learning to hold nuance, to say this and that, instead of this or that, is a quiet revolution in our inner world. And I believe this is a place where lasting healing happens.
*Please note that this blog is not a replacement for therapy, and intended for educational purposes only.
The Struggle with Black-and-White Thinking
Many of us carry parts that see the world in extremes:
I’m either doing it right or failing
I’m either strong or falling apart
This is either good or bad
This kind of black-and-white thinking isn’t a flaw. In one of the primary modalities I use as a licensed therapist, Internal Family Systems, it’s usually the language of protectors: parts of us that developed in times when life really did feel unsafe, unstable, or chaotic. When the nervous system is overwhelmed, clarity becomes a kind of survival: “Just tell me what to do. And let it be one thing.”
But as we grow in capacity and safety, our systems are able to handle more complexity. We begin to soften the hard lines, and something inside starts to breathe again.
Curious to learn more about Internal Family Systems? Check out my recent blog here!
Unraveling Conditional Narratives
Many of us have inherited conditional narratives:.
If I rest, it means I’m lazy.
If I set a boundary, it means I don’t love them.
If I look a certain way, then I will be happy.
But healing asks us to step outside of either/or, and into a more compassionate story:
I can rest, and still be deeply engaged in my life.
I can love someone, and also protect myself.
I can embrace my body as it is, and find joy in life.
Why Nuance Heals
When we hold multiple truths with compassion, something shifts internally. Parts that have felt silenced or pushed to the side start to trust that they don’t have to fight for space. The system settles. Self-Energy, the calm, curious, compassionate presence at your core, can lead with more clarity.
Nuance brings:
Relief from impossible binaries
Permission to be in process
Connection to your full, layered experience
It reminds us: You don’t have to have it all figured out. You can explore as you go and hold multiple things at once.
You’re Allowed to Hold Complexity
You’re allowed to be unsure, change your mind, hold both grief and joy, anger and softness, fear and courage, all at the same time.
In my Denver-based private practice, I support clients through IFS-Informed therapy that welcomes the full range of your experiences and parts within you. You don’t have to sort it all out at once; Rather, you just have to show up with what’s true today.
In Colorado and interested in getting started with therapy? I’d love to support you on your journey! Reach out today to schedule a free phone consultation!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gigi Woodall, LMFT
Trauma & Eating Disorder Therapist in Denver
Hi, I’m Gigi—a Denver-based trauma and eating disorder therapist and clinical supervisor passionate about helping people heal and reconnect with themselves. My work focuses on exploring how early experiences, relationships, and protective parts of the self shape our inner narratives. Through a compassionate and individualized approach, I help clients challenge limiting beliefs and step into a more authentic, intuitive way of living.
Prior to private practice, I worked at nonprofit organizations and eating disorder treatment centers. I'm also a proud Denver chapter member of the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (IAEDP), a clinical supervisor for pre-licensed therapists, and am on my way to becoming a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS).
With training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and eating disorder treatment, I provide a safe, supportive space for those navigating recovery, trauma, and self-discovery.
Looking for support on your healing journey? Book a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.